Part 1: How labels inspire!
Labels affect how we interact with the world in huge ways. Nothing helps us gain information faster than these one word definitions of ourselves. They are critical to our successes, failures, struggles and triumphs.
How they can help
They allow people to communicate efficiently. They provide a point of reference. They highlight what is important to us.
How they can hurt
They ignore complexities of unique situations. They can make us feel boxed into. They reproduce behavior patterns.
How can we use them to help us toward our goals?
Are you a ____student____ or do you _______study_______?
Are you a ____writer_____ or do you _______write _______?
A month ago, I would have answered, “I write”. I remember when the change happened. I was in the office of my new dentist giving them basic personal information and they asked for my occupation. I put down “writer”. I’d never called myself a writer before. My new dentist even asked me about being a writer. And I explained about how I write content for websites and such. I realized that I was a writer even though I’d never called myself one. I wrote more the next week than I ever have in a week. It gave what I was doing meaning. I am a writer now. It’s no longer a pass time but a part of who I am. Telling my dentist about it, despite how frivolous it seems, gave me a lot of energy about finally being a write. It pumped me up and helped me work extra hard the next week. Calling myself a write also gave me some anxiety and that helped me realize why I’d never called myself one before.
Changing your identity is scary. Making something part of your identity puts yourself at risk for failure. If I am a writer now and I never make any money with my writing, I fail. This was the first time my writing put me at risk of being a failure. I had plenty of essays in college that were terrible failures, but it didn’t affect my psyche because it wasn’t me, it was something I did.
The Challenge.
Redefine yourself:
What are you?
Write a list of 3-5 things that you are. The rule is that they all have to be things that no one has called you before. Feel free to think of things that are associated with your present goals. And don’t hesitate to pick things you aren’t sure are even true. Just look for things that you do frequently. Warning: It isn’t easy. Give yourself 15 minutes to think it over.
Now, make up our own criteria for those three things. I am a writer: I want to write something I am proud of every week. I also want to write things I think aren’t that great. I recognize that being labeled as something doesn’t require me to be great at it all the time. It doesn’t even require me to be good at it any of the time.
Now tell someone! Make it real. Have a conversation where you explain to your mother/spouse/friend/dentist/me what you are and what you think it means to you to be that.
Then come back to this exercise a week from now see what if anything is changed. I’d love to hear reports.
I bet you are a lot of things that you never realized.
Up next we’ll talk about what labels we carry that hold us back.
